• Tue, Mar 16 2010

Textual Healing: Oops, Didn’t Mean To Send That

Text messagingText messaging might be the easiest and most convenient way to send a note to your friends, but when it comes to communicating with a guy, it can be anything but simple. Whether his messages are short and sweet or lengthy and in-depth, you’re usually left wondering: what is he really trying to say? And even worse, how do I respond? Here at Crushable we want to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge, textually healed.

Have you ever received a text that made you think that it was just not meant for you? This happened to me a few months ago, when I got a text message from an ex (this is a reoccurring theme it seems) at 3:15 a.m. on a Friday night that read, “Hey what’s up, I’m on m hill.” Even though he was referring to my neighborhood (Murray Hill), since I hadn’t heard from the guy in months I just assumed the message was meant for someone else. “I’m probably not the one you wanted to text this to drinkie,” I wrote back.

Of course, I could have just as easily ignored the message, but I was a little curious to see how he would respond. There are many ways to react to a wrongly sent text, and my example is just one of them. Ignoring and deleting is another, and you can also simply go with it and act like it was meant for you. Chances are, it was — like this one that my ex sent me. But by acting like it wasn’t meant for me I gave him an out, just in case he woke up the next morning and regretted sending it in the first place. Completely ignoring him would have accomplished the same thing and closed the door to any contact between us in the future. In other words, it would have sent the message, “I’m not interested.”

Now what if you accidentally send something to a guy? How do you recover? A friend of mine told me this story: one night she was out with her friends, drinking, dancing and having a good time. She wanted to send a note to a guy she had been seeing casually, but her judgment was clearly impaired since she decided to send him something to the effect of, “I hope you are dancing like no one is watching.” To make matters worse, with drunk hands and predictive text she ended up hoping he was dancing like “on one” was watching. When she woke up the next morning and realized what she had sent, she was mortified. And, to make matters worse, she showed her phone to her friend, who accidentally resent the same text — again. How does one recover from such a faux pas?

I’m not sure how my friend recovered, but I would recommend laughing it off. Everyone enjoys drunk texts and even a guy you are dating casually can appreciate that sometimes we make bad texting decisions. Yes, it’s embarrassing and yes, you open yourself up for mockery from your friends and date. But, you can probably easily remind them all of a time when they did the same. The only way to prevent this from happening is to put your phone away and avoid texting when you’re not thinking clearly. But really, we all know that will never happen.

Now it’s your turn to tell us your story. Have you ever sent a text you didn’t mean to send? Have you ever received an embarrassing text meant for someone else? How did you handle it? Leave your stories in the comments below or send them to submissions at crushable.com. You may see your story featured in an upcoming Textual Healing.

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  • leniseheather

    This just happened to me!!! I am still not convinced that it was meant for me!!!
    I am so confused that I have to come on the internet to see if anyone else has had the same thing happened to them! I received a text message from my fiancee 2 days ago saying “Meet me at ESCAPE (name of bar) for a drink ur secret admirer”. When I first read the text I thought he was outside my window playing a prank on me or something! I was so shocked and very confused that I didn’t know what to do. So, I never replied. Slowly went into my room packed up my stuff and left the house. Now he’s ringing me up and leaving messages saying “if Im pissed off because of the text then I’m a fool that he was trying to be funny, and he was waiting for me to reply that I’ll be there” blah blah blah. I mean WTF?!? How the freakn heck do I know for sure now whether it was meant for me??? First of all, he has never texted me before like that EVER! Secondly, I have never been to the bar he asked me to meet him at. I want to talk to him about it but I just can’t. I am half hoping that the text was meant for someone else as I have been having second thoughts about marrying him!!! The other half is that it’s too painful to think that he would actually do this to me!!! AND at the same time, we’ve been together for 6 years now and it’s not easy at all! A lot of things to think about! Don’t know what to believe – WHAT TO DO??? WHAT TO DO???

  • why I don’t drink

    so last night I accidentally drunk text a guy that used to be a good friend of mine and that I dated for a while. we see each other at school and totally ignore one another because the friendship ended badly. me feeling used, lied to. and him being I became a bitter jerk and that he was honest and tried hard remaining my friend. anyways we haven’t spoken for over 2 monthsand classes started again. he gave me a rude hello the first day of school which irritated me so I made the mistake of not acknowledging his presence from there on out. last night I got drunk and felt like I really missed him, his friendship and that maybe all of this was outta anger that he would talk to other girls In front of me and try to hook up with other girls in front of me and not respecting my presence. regardless of that fact I felt that “will he was honest and told me he wants to remain friends and that he wasn’t ready for commitment, only wanted to have fun.” I took that like code that he didn’t want to be with me not anyone else per sè. either way drunk me wanted to clarify this for myself, being the idiot that I was.I sent a text saying at 2:00 am “hey sorry to text you so late, are you up by any chance?” I ended up confessing to my friend 10 minutes later so she grabbed my phone and wrote him “I’m so sorry Bob (fake name) I accidentally text the wrong person.” since then no response. I’m bummed because I wanted to salvage the friendship but went about it in such a stupid way. I don’t know how to salvage it now. ignore the situation and start saying hi to him even if he does what I did back to me in class and avoid me at all costs?