• Fri, Mar 12 2010

VIDEO: What Guys Do When They’re Alone

Man PanelEver wonder what guys are really thinking? So do we. So, we asked them. Last week we discussed dating, but today’s Crushable Man Panel focuses on what guys do when we’re not around. We asked three New York guys — Matt, Spike and Max — what they like to do with friends and alone, whether they talk about women and if they’ve ever “kissed and told.”

What do you like to do with your guy friends?

Spike: Hang out, see a movie, go and get a beer, take a bike ride.

Matt: I’ll just drink beers with my friends, watch sports and movies. Hang out. We’ll roam the city together. Have adventures.

Max: I guess it’s a lot of watching really dumb movies, or going out drinking, and basically talking about women. There’s a lot of that. When we’re not talking about women and dating we try to talk about erudite things like politics and books, too, but a lot of the conversation with my fellow males tends to drift back to dating and other things.

Do you ever talk about girls?

Spike: It’s more like I went out with this chick and who’s she and what’s going on there. It’s casual.

Matt: We talk about women all the time. We talk about the women that we want, we talk about the women we have, whether they’re better than us, whether they’re good enough, whether we’re good enough. How we can get more women or whether we should stay with the women we have. All the things you think we’re talking about, we’re talking about. And some sports. We talk about sports when we’re not talking about women. And movies. We talk about movies, sports and girls.

Max: Clearly we do, quite a bit. I guess it depends on your level of friendship with a person what the boundaries about what you talk about are. We talk about girls quite a bit, we talk about relationships and all sorts of other things. There was an age with most guys when they were much more interested in details than they are as you get older. And I guess in that sense, the older you get, the more high minded the conversation goes.

Have you ever “kissed and told”?

Spike: Depends on what you mean by that. It’s not like middle school like ‘I got to third base with her.’ I don’t go into details. Usually it’s like, ‘Yeah, I slept over.’ And you can pretty much infer from that. But I’m a fairly private person. It’s just not something I would talk about in detail.

Max: Are you kidding? It happens a lot less now than it did when I was in high school or college, but believe me, if I kissed someone in high school, everybody would know.


What do you like to do by yourself?

Spike: I like to read, and take pictures and ride my bike and wander through the city and find different things or just sit and read or people watch.

Max: I’m a bit of an odd ball, so I actually spend a lot of my time reading. I’m a reader, I watch movies, I, like many others, waste my life on the Internet. I try to find the high-minded things on the Internet, too. It’s not all Facebook poker. But I have played Facebook poker, and I have wasted many, many hours doing that.

Why do men always take a magazine into the bathroom?

Spike: Well sometimes you’re in there for a long time, you need something to do. Sometimes it just takes a while. There’s few places where no one can bother you. Most of the time, no one is going to bother you in the bathroom, you’re just hanging out. If you’re reading a magazine, why not? It’s like a sanctuary.

Matt: My biggest pet peeve with women is that they’re not relaxed enough. The reason that guys are so relaxed is that we spend a half hour in the bathroom. Our mind at ease, reading whatever it is we read. I think women can learn from that. That’s our private time. You’re not watching TV, there’s no Internet, there’s no technology, and you’re just alone and you have a clear head and you just shut down. That’s our bathroom time.

Max: We like to get comfy. I don’t know. We’ve got some time to kill and we’re going to not be bothered. It’s like a zen thing.

If you could ask a woman any question and know you were going to get an honest answer, what would you ask?

Matt: Here is what I would just say to women. I think one big thing that guys screw up all the time — and I think it’s just because we’re guys — we say stupid things when we’re on dates. Guys say a lot of stupid things, I hear it from a lot of girls, I have a sister. But if a guy says one stupid thing, he’s out. Guys, when we talk to each other, we say the stupidest things to each other. Through the course of one conversation we’ll say 100 stupid things. So for us to go through one date and say only one stupid thing, that’s a victory.

(Photo via Comstock)

Special thanks: This week’s man panel featured Max Gross, the author of From Schlub to Stud, comedian Matt Rittberg and Spike McCue.

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