• Wed, Mar 3 2010

Sex, Honestly: How To Give A Blow Job

Whether you are a veteran at oral or a newbie, you probably already know that those porn scenes featuring women who seem multi-orgasmic as they give a blow jay for 20 minutes might be exaggerating the enjoyment factor just a smidge. Still, the blow job doesn’t have to be a one-sided neck cramping act for the giver.

First thing to keep in mind anytime you do anything sexual: If you don’t enjoy the thought of pleasing the other person, you shouldn’t be boinking them. If you are in a long-term relationship, there may be times where you go through a dry spell, and that’s fine. That’s not what I am talking about. I’m saying that in order for amazing sex to happen both people should enjoy their partners enjoyment as much as (and sometimes more than) their own.

So in order to make oral sex fun for you, get in the mental head space of pleasure giving. It can be pretty damn hot to hear the sounds coming from your boyfriend because you just did something cool with your tongue.

SPEED & PRESSURE: Unless you have a robot head or a blow job metronome, you are not going to maintain an exact speed. I used to pretend I was listening to a song that started out slowly and then increased in speed, and now I can’t hear “Mary Had A Little Lamb” without opening my mouth a little. (Makes those elementary school concerts kind of weird.)  But really, it can be helpful to put your boyfriend’s hand on the back of your head so he can give you an idea of his desired speed.

With every guy, the pressure he enjoys will vary. Some even like a little teeth, but don’t test that one unless he asks for it or you’ve already discussed this. Also, when I say a little teeth I mean just a light scrape. It’s not made out of jerky. For the most part, keep your lips pulled over your teeth.

DEPTH: Yes, I know that the most sensitive part of the penis is the tip. What I also know is that dudes don’t seem to care about that. For whatever reason, most likely psychological, they love the deep throat. Listen, if that’s not your thing, then don’t worry about it. Use your hand to stimulate the shaft and take as much or as little into your mouth as you’d like.

However, if you do want to take the whole penis into your throat without barfing, there are some ways to make it easier. Position your head so that it is higher than the pelvis and completely relax your jaw. Even if this means your lips are relaxed around the shaft, the sensation of the penis hitting the deepest parts of your throat with make up for it. Also, the most important part of the deep throat is breath control: when the penis is deeper in your throat, you should be breathing out. Breathing in tightens the throat and stimulates the gag reflex. If you do start to gag, don’t worry about it. Just pull back and give your throat a break.

As far as making it enjoyable for both you and your guy, you can: use a vibrator, have him finger you, or even 69 (reciprocal oral) so that it seems like less of a chore and more of a mutual fun time. Don’t forget that there are other parts of your bodies. Play (gently) with the balls. He can play with your boobs. Touch the insides of the thighs. Also, it’s a fact: guys like to see their dicks going in and out of things, and they like to be looked at.

Most guys aren’t too quiet about telling you when they are about to cum, but even if they don’t tell you, the penis in your mouth will become more engorged with blood as the moment draws near. This is a good time to pull back a little because should he happen to cum while his penis is deep in your throat you may end up wasting your last meal in his lap. If you are using a condom, or having him pull out of your mouth before he cums, this isn’t as much of an issue.

Also, the money shot: anyone who has ever had an eyeful of little swimmers is probably somewhat leery of letting that happen again. (If you are a guy and you are reading this, be a champ and stop making eye babies. They hurt. They itch. They make us mad.) It’s slightly hard to control where the stuff will shoot, but you can let your guy know ahead of time what spots you’d like him to avoid.

So, there it is. Seems like a lot to remember, I know, but the most important thing to help you give the best blow jobs ever is to enjoy yourself.

Nikol  is the  co-creator, writer and host of Midwest Teen Sex Show, a provocative and frank mix of comedy and sexual information for teens. She lives in Los Angeles and is a freelance writer whose work has been in publications such as The A.V. Club, RH Reality Check and Alternative Press Magazine.

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  • tina

    Nice article! I’ve recently read “Jack’s Blowjob Lessons” (here’s a link: http://www.jacksblowjoblessons.com) and it helped me solve all my issues with blow jobs, my man can’t get enough of me now! It’s a really important thing for our relationship, and I think every relationship, to be strong… you have to give good blow jobs.

  • Lindz

    Good article. I just wanted to put in that I’ve never asked a guy if he’d like me to bite him, I just did. And they all loved it. What I do is in a rare moment, I go down as far as I can and give a firm bite while I’m not moving before starting up again. I normally do it when I can tell they’re getting close to going.
    They do not like scraping teeth though x.x
    Nice article!

    • Aly

      My husband LOVES teeth scraping and the roughness from it!

  • Amanda

    Another thing that really works when deep-throating is requesting that the guy lean forward a bit. For some reason, it allows you to take a deeper length into your mouth.

    Also, the more saliva the better. No guy wants to be chafed – use your own personal lubricant. That equals more pleasure.

  • Chris

    My boyfriend Mike loves it rough and hard I love the way he fondles with my penis inside of his mouth he loves to swallow it and he dribbles it on my face and i lick it up and lick his penis with it he squirts me in the eye and it get itchy i get pink eye from him but he turkey slaps me and it turns me on so much i love it.

  • curtis rose

    im gay and i love it when i give a blow jo to my boyfriend

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