Think about it: American Idol is a basically just a reality-TV version of your high school. There’s drama, catfights, tears, overachievers, disappointments and that one legendary teacher-crank who gives everyone hell — since he’s tenured, he can do whatever he wants. Even flunk you five times. You know the one.
Which raises an intriguing casting question, involving The Breakfast Club: If a remake of the ’80s teen-movie masterpiece were to happen, and if said remake were to star the current contestants on Idol, whom would play whom?
We have some suggestions:
- Simon Cowell as hardass Principal Richard Vernon (Paul Gleason). Yep, sounds about right.
- Ryan Seacrest as vulnerable jock Andrew Clark (Emilio Estevez). Seacrest is a radio jock who can be vulnerable despite his robo-smooth confidence hosting 102.7 KIIS FM, Idol and his 33 other jobs. We speculate, but anyone with so many gigs must be overcompensating for something – like Emilio in TBC – so what’s Seacrest hiding?
- Siobhan Magnus as goth misfit Allison Reynolds (Ally Sheedy). The female darkhorse/Ally Sheedy lookalike sang “Wicked Game” last week, which …. yep, sounds about right.
- Casey James as “The Criminal” John Bender (Judd Nelson). They have wildly different personalities — Casey is mild-mannered and Bender has borderline sociopathic tendencies — yet there’s one thing they share in common: they’re both really really hot. And that’s that.
- Katelyn Epperly as Claire Standish (Molly Ringwald). Katelyn’s curly hair is one of her best features, as is Claire’s awesome red bob. They both exude that Homecoming Queen vibe — but we wonder whether Katelyn can do that patented lipstick trick.
- Tim Urban as Brian Johnson (Anthony Michael Hall). Urban is young, earnest, nerdy-cute and one of this season’s underdogs. He is 1985 Anthony Michael Hall crossed with Zac Efron. And like Brian/Anthony Michael Hall, he has that sweet quality that makes us root for him.