• Wed, Feb 24 2010

Textual Healing: When To Say No

textingText messaging might be the easiest and most convenient way to send a note to your friends, but when it comes to communicating with a guy, it can be anything but simple. Whether his messages are short and sweet or lengthy and in-depth, you’re usually left wondering: what is he really trying to say? And even worse, how do I respond? Here at Crushable we want to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge, textually healed.

Here’s what we’ll cover today: when to say no to a guy’s textual advances, without feeling an ounce of guilt. You know what I’m referring to: the booty text. It’s what happens when a guy wants to see you after hours in the confines of his bedroom, but he can’t even be bothered to call you for the more traditional “booty call.”

While I’m no stranger to the 4 a.m. text or phone call, I always wake up the next morning regretting whatever response I could manage. Frequently, that familiar text message alert will wake me up, and then I’ll stay up while the futile text conversation reaches its ultimate conclusion: with me saying thanks, but no thanks. I should probably follow my own advice, ignore these digital advances and go back to sleep. But if nothing else, these experiences have given me enough insight to offer you the following guidelines:

Just say no when…

  • It’s after 4 a.m. Nothing good ever happens after 4 a.m.
  • You’re already asleep.
  • There are more than three words misspelled or misused in any one text message (even from you). Example: “im ehausted but offer a blots hut im feelin same.”
  • He tried to turn you on by telling you how much he wants to “feel the inside of you” or something equally unsexy when sent via text. This might just be a personal preference. But, ew.
  • He demands you send sexy photos
  • He just shows up at your place even when you tell him not to. You know who you are.
  • This happens:
    Guy: Hi. Are you awake?
    Girl: No, I’m out with my friends.

    Guy: Me too. I’m out with someone, meet later?
    Girl: Out with a… date?
    Guy: I was set up, i’ll stay out with her for a while. Come out later.
    Girl: No thanks. I pass.

And here’s one last thing to stay away from when it comes to booty call text messages: exes. Yes, last week I discussed how I was able to ignore one ex’s casual message on Valentine’s Day, but I have, at other times, responded to late night notes from someone who had disappeared from my life for a while. Was this smart? Far from it. So do I say, not as I do. I know it’s not always easy to resist. But when you get a text from an ex at 3 a.m. on Friday night, thank him for his interest and bid him a goodnight. That way, you get the best of both worlds. You get to know that he’s lonely and thinking about you, and you also get the satisfaction of knowing you have the power to turn him down.

Has this ever happened to you? What rules have I missed?

If you have a juicy text message you want to share, leave it in the comments or send it in and you might see it featured in the next Textual Healing.

(Photo by Photos.com)

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  • Hunter_S

    But what if you really just want to get laid? Booty texts have a time and a place, Amanda. I have even been known to send them myself on occasion. This needs a caveat that it’s ok to be slutty if you swing that way.

  • jrp112987

    Late night booty texts are one thing, but what about late night voicemails?

    • Amanda Ernst

      If you’re leaving a voice mail late at night, you’re probably not getting a call back that night. Am I right?

  • crv

    What booty call…that’s lame…Get a vibrator and guys..use your hands