Olympic Crush: German Pairs Skaters

Savchenko and SzolkowyYou know that moment where the German Olympic figure skaters Aliona Savchenko and Robin Szolkowy appeared on the ice dressed as sad clowns? And, with their oversized gumdrop buttons they already looked ludicrous? And you made some joke about how they might as well skate to “Send in the Clowns” and then they proceeded to skate to “Send in the Clowns”? Yeah, wasn’t that just unbelievably awesome?

SavchenkoBut was it as awesome as the enormous teardrops painted on their cheeks? No. No it wasn’t. Because those teardrops were just like the kind of tattoos that gang members who kill people in prison get! Thus implying that they were not simply clowns, they were murderous clowns like the one you might have seen in It. So, basically, the most terrifying creatures ever, because there is already almost no one who is not afraid of clowns. They may have come in second for the short program, but those wacky, scary, German clowns with their twirling blades will always be first in my heart.

And just wait until tonight, when the pair will perform their long program to music from the movie Out of Africa.

Send In The Clowns [Video]

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