Apparently Jessica Simpson’s stylist hates her guts, because he or she told her that of COURSE it would be a good idea to squeeze into these teensy little denim shorts. Of COURSE you don’t look like a bunch of sausage, how could you think that? Yeah.
Honestly, Jessica, you really need to reevaluate your life at this point. There comes a time in every woman’s life when she has to realize that showing up to “sing” in clothes that show off your buncakes is probably not a good idea anymore. Heck, maybe even showing up to sing – because Jessica, you HAVE to know that your voice causes seizures by now, right? Someone’s broken it to you?
Seriously, she’s like five minutes away from dancing for change at a truck stop.