Liveblogging The Hills Premiere

The Hills Season 3The episode starts out with Heidi and Spencer gossiping over breakfast. Heidi has a new nose and new boobs and Spencer has new facial hair. Their annoying voices are, unfortunately, the same. They have blatantly staged conversation about furnishing their “new apartment.”

Lauren and Audrina are in their apartment dishing about boys. Some guy named Justin who abandoned Audrina in Vegas and now they’re going out again. Lauren doesn’t do much to hide her disappointment.

Heidi and Spencer have more staged conversation in their “apartment.” Heidi’s boobs are huge. Spencer has had their apartment graffiti-ed.  It looks terrible.  Heidi hates it. The whole staged situation is justlame.

Back to the other girls… Audrina meets Justin, a creepy looking, scruffy, undershirt and sport coat-wearing schmuck for dinner. Let me reiterate – he’s creepy.

Lauren and Lo hang out in Lauren’s place, having girl time. They discuss Audrina’s new/old guy and whether or not it’s worth it to give someone a second chance.

Back to Audrina and Creepy Justin. They have weird, meaningless conversation. They go back to the apartment to briefly visit with Lo and Lauren, who are laughing about Justin who sometimes goes by the name Bobby. Audrina and Justin/Bobby head out to Forty Deuce. Lauren looks offended.

*Sidenote: Lauren and Audrina’s apartment is drastically better decorated than last season.

The next morning, Lauren and Audrina chat while Lauren cooks. Audrina explains that she and Justin/Bobby have decided to give it another chance. The girls giggle about how they have different taste in boys, but maybe Justin/Bobby has a nice single friend.

Oh look! Brody and Spencer are hanging out. Tool 1, meet Tool 2. Spencer is talking about popping the question to Heidi and Brody is not a fan.

Audrina’s at work talking about Justin/Bobby again. This is really boring. Also, on a completely unrelated note, Audrina has a giant tattoo on the back of her neck. Audrina confesses that she really wants a boyfriend. Yawn.

Spencer is picking out a ring for Heidi at a random boutique. He buys a ring a fter just taking a peek. The salesgirl makes faux conversation. Spencer tears up the receipt and says he won’t need to be returning the ring.

Heidi and Spencer head to Malibu for the weekend to stay at “Spencer’s beach house.”

Back in Laguna Beach (remember that place?), Lauren goes to her parents’ house. Lauren and her mom chat about Audrina and her relationship again. Lauren’s mom gives some good mom advice.

Spencer and Heidi are on the beach. This, by the way, is the same Spencer who had his homeboy phone last season. He proposes. There’s crying. I actually find myself sort of believing that they love each other.

Nice montage of all of the main characters to Fergie’s “Big Girls Don’t Cry.” And that, my friends, is episode one.

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    • devyn

      heidei is so stupid she knows exactly what she did and on the first or 2nd episode when lc and her were fighting lc should have thrown that drink in her face..everyone is right heidie is brainwashed and doesnt even realize and she thinks shes in love and now there getting married?? wtf is that about..guess what heidie if u watched any of ur shows ude see the episode where spencer says as clear as day im only doing this to get her away from lauren ..and that he isnt going to change..and now u guys saying ur in lve which u started saying not long after they were dating is so stupid b/c ur not and ur just an idiot and u turned ur back on ur friend and i hope that she knows that she is a low self absorbed bimbo…whos voice is annoying and needs to take a step back and realize what shes doing with her life …much love xoxo

    • Jenelle

      honestly i can’t even watch the show anymore. It is seriously annoying to me now. In fact if I continue to watch it will be purely for laughs. Everything just seems so entirely fake and staged now that it’s extremely difficult for me to watch. And Heidi acting like she’s innocent. Whateva biotch! And spencer with his damn proposal. They are both just so fake, I seriously can’t stand it. I can’t stand fake people in general. Although I think Lauren’s mom was right. I do think people get caught up in the whole “hollywood” thing when they are there and forget what’s really important in life.

    • Kate

      I read a comment about the tattoo Audrina has on her neck….i think it’s awesome and very original and shouldn’t be judged